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Let Them Eat Meat

Writer's picture: KelleyMcLaneKelleyMcLane

eat what you want to eat, not what you're told to eat.

and since they let us get treated like meat, you might as well eat that too.


MEATBALLS

(a recipe for a PR disaster)


for your meatballs

1 lb ground beef

1 egg

1/4 tsp oregano

2 cloves garlic

2 tbs romano cheese

salt

pepper


for the sauce to top it off

1/4 cup olive oil

2 cloves garlic

1/2 onion

1/2 cup wine

1 box of strained tomatoes

3 basil leaves


1. combine meat, egg, oregano, minced garlic, cheese, salt, and pepper in a bowl. go ahead and get in there with your hands. imagine it's the insides of the men who sexually harassed you and your friends, or your boss who allowed it to happen.

2. roll the mixture into golf ball shaped balls, since the investors probably talked about you on their golf courses.

3. once that's done, go ahead and throw them into some hot olive oil. sear them on all sides.

4. take the meatballs out, like you're taking them out to a business lunch.

5. add your chopped onion. then add your minced garlic. smell how fragrant justice is.

6. pour your wine in. you can use whatever you have. red or white, it doesn't matter. take a drink right out of the bottle, savor how great it is to have a drink without having to worry if you're going to owe anyone anything in return.

7. let it simmer.

then, simmer on how a company that claims to be so feminist is actually so anti-woman.

simmer on the fact that being a woman is the same as being an animal for slaughter

you're whistled at

objectified

judged by the size and shape of your body

your meat to fat ratio

men lick their lips, waiting for their chance to devour you

branded (as a mirage whore)

expected to heed and obey

and how you're punished when you don't

8. add your strained tomatoes. they should be the constancy of lies told through clenched teeth.

9. add your meatballs. let them cook low and slooooowww for about 45 minutes.

10. while they cook, go ahead and melt some thick provolone cheese on some bread.

11. once your meatballs are cooked all the way through, go ahead and slap them onto your bread.

12. devour your meatball sub, stuff it in like you've never eaten in your life. let the sauce drip down your pristine shirt. get messy. make a PR disaster.


one time at a business meeting, penelope's father told us that as women, we needed to "marry or starve".

they told us that we needed those men.

that we needed their money, we needed their support.

but all I have to say is fuck that.

because I will never allow myself to go hungry.


i. will. never. starve.


-Kelley




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©2020 by The Penelopiad Project Team, Dir. Noah Putterman

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